Many of us have heard, or even used, the term “s/he is acting like a narcissist” often without understanding the meaning, or what qualifies as narcissistic behaviour. On today’s post we will consider Gaslighting as the latest in narcissistic weaponry. But let’s first qualify the labels.
Narcissist:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is condition where there is typically an inflated sense of self, a need for attention/admiration, and often little to no empathy. Those with NPD tendencies can display manipulative, & controlling behaviours, verbal and physical abuse and emotional manipulation.
Narcissistic victim syndrome is a term that collectively describes the specific and often severe effects of narcissistic manipulation.
Some of the things to look out for include:
- Outwardly appearance of normal, even “perfect” behaviour, leading observers to question any claims of abuse.
- An ability to redirect any criticism away from themselves and toward others, often their victims.
- Ability to manipulate situations, to inflate their position/ego.
- Need for control, often by isolating their victim(s), and/or blaming their victim for any abuse they have caused.
Now let’s look at Gaslighting.
Described as a form of emotional abuse, gaslighting makes you question yourself, your recollection of events, even your mental stability. While gaslighting can be a form of abuse initiated against a person by an employer, friend, etc., it is often associated with a romantic partner, and for that reason, can be much more destructive and insidious.
A romantic partner will have intimate details of your life, friends, family, work, and can use those to manipulate a situation. If that romantic partner also has NDP tenancies, the result can be emotionally destroying.
A narcissist can destroy your reputation with employers, have you question events, and manipulate family and friends into believing the victim is unstable or simply misinformed; all the while feeding their desire and ego to be in control, and the centre of attention.
Are you being Gaslighted?
- Second-guess your Recollection of Past Events
- Constantly apologising for things you didn’t do/don’t recall doing
- You think there is something wrong with you & make excuses for the inappropriate and poor behaviour of others (usually your partner)
- Distrust your own better judgement and gut feelings.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse, regardless from whom.
Being gaslighted by a narcissist can be very dangerous, as its difficult to also see it for what it is. If your instinct is telling you there is something wrong, or if you are questioning everything around you, do not ignore this. It is better to seek help and be mistaken.
If you’re in a relationship, or situation where you do not feel you can ask for help, or cannot trust those around you, make an appointment with your GP – you are not alone and you are not unstable; you’re being abused and need help.
Leave a Reply